sometimes I wish my life was perfect and that I didn’t come home and cry and that I could actually be happy with myself for once. I wish that my family was actually something I wanted instead of something to add to my list of worry. I wish I was confident that I actually have real friends that I am positive will never leave me. I wish I had a cute relationship. I wish I could just fall into his arms and they would hold me until I was okay. I wish I was confident in myself. I wish that I could still squeeze into those size 4 jeans. I wish I didn’t have to work out to lose weight. I wish my face was clear. I wish there wasn’t so much stress, so much anxiety, so much depression.

But the reality is

None of that will ever work out the way it should

Because it never does

It’s always the same

Put up a mask, don’t show your real emotions

That’s the thing, though

I wish I wasn’t so good at hiding

Because then maybe someone would notice how much pain I’m actually in

It’s not for attention

It’s for someone to actually hear my crying

For someone to realize

Oh

She really does have feelings