bro you look so cute right now dude. dude you are so fucking adorable
sometimes I wish my life was perfect and that I didn’t come home and cry and that I could actually be happy with myself for once. I wish that my family was actually something I wanted instead of something to add to my list of worry. I wish I was confident that I actually have real friends that I am positive will never leave me. I wish I had a cute relationship. I wish I could just fall into his arms and they would hold me until I was okay. I wish I was confident in myself. I wish that I could still squeeze into those size 4 jeans. I wish I didn’t have to work out to lose weight. I wish my face was clear. I wish there wasn’t so much stress, so much anxiety, so much depression.
But the reality is
None of that will ever work out the way it should
Because it never does
It’s always the same
Put up a mask, don’t show your real emotions
That’s the thing, though
I wish I wasn’t so good at hiding
Because then maybe someone would notice how much pain I’m actually in
It’s not for attention
It’s for someone to actually hear my crying
For someone to realize
She really does have feelings
Anxiety blooms in my chest and pushes its way up my throat like weeds pushing through the cracks of a sidewalk.